Love It or Hate It

I have what could be called a “love-hate relationship” with a city that goes by the wonderfully “green” name of Ann Arbor. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate name for a place that pound-for-pound is the most liberal city in the tri-state area.

With that said, my wife and I love Ann Arbor. It has a big city feel in a relatively small town. A stroll down Main Street is a great way to spend a beautifully sunny Saturday afternoon. There are tons of small stores and interesting restaurants in AA, as the locals call it. Ok, so maybe I’m the only one who calls it AA but I’m hoping it catches on.

HOWEVER, I also hate AA, and I have several reasons. It is the home of the University of Michigan. I am a Penn State fan. Enough said. However, this is not the biggest issue I have with the city. As I said AA is liberal. Not Barack Obama liberal. Not Nancy Pelosi liberal. We’re talking Michael Moore / Sean Penn / Rosie O’Donnell liberal. And boy does it show.

Our first stop in AA was at Whole Foods. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a grocery store that has a “social conscience”. Apparently, their food is either organic or locally grown, so that gives them good karma, dude. Honestly, they do have some good stuff, so we usually stop in there just to look around and maybe try something new like a hemp soda or patchouli pockts (delicious). I swear I could have covered my house with the number of Obama decals, rainbow symbols and other various “Eat Green” stickers on the cars in the parking lot. Needless to say, our car with its anti-Obama and “No Socialism” bumper stickers was a little out of place.

We made our purchases and moved on to downtown AA. The first little bookstore we entered was obviously a liberal one. The table in the front of the store was covered in books about the errors of Christianity and how this world would be better without people, etc. The pinnacle was a book of the collected writings of Ted Kaczyinski. If you are unfamiliar with this gentleman, he also goes by the name of “the Unabomber.” That’s right, they were saying that while they don’t agree with his tactics, his ideas were valid and reasonable. Seriously? I wanted to ask the guy behind the counter if he had Glenn Beck’s latest book, but I didn’t want to have to touch him if he got violent. He probably could use his dreads as a weapon, like a dirty, marijuana soaked cat o’ nine tails or something.

When my communist hippie intolerance got the best of me we moved on. A little later we went into a used bookstore and I was happy to find a children’s Bible for which I have been searching for a while. It’s identical to one I used to have as a kid, but I think one of my sisters stole it. Could you imagine stealing a Bible? It’s just horrible…Anyway, I bought the Bible and since it was just one book (albeit a MASSIVE book, with CHILDREN’S BIBLE written plainly on the cover), I just carried it without a bag. I was about 10 steps out of the store when I remembered that I was in Little San Francisco (my other nickname for AA) carrying a Bible under my arm. At first I was a little embarrassed, knowing that I was certain to draw some stares. But then I realized that the people staring should be embarrassed for being shocked to see a Bible. Of course they may have been staring because a grown man was carrying a children’s Bible, but one can never be sure. So I decided to carry it proudly, making sure it’s title was plain to see.

I made a comment to my wife that I was probably the only person in Ann Arbor that day who was carrying both a Bible AND a firearm. Oh yeah, I had my pistol on me too. Sometimes it feels good to be both a gun-nut and a Bible-nut, all at the same time. I have to say I’m proud to be both.

So as it is, I love Ann Arbor. Not so much because of the stores or the restaurants, but mostly because it reminds me that we live in a great country where you are free to express your views on a variety of issues.

Even if your views are stupid.