Sport, Game, or Activity?

I was single for quite a while before I finally met the one woman who could stand to marry me. As a result of this unforeseen term of bachelorhood, I had to find ways to fill my time. If you've never been a single, Christian man for more than three years after college, you will not be able to relate to what I'm about to say...but it's boring. I mean, everything in this world that is designed for that demographic (minus the Christian part) is meant to feed the flesh alone. Think about it what your average 29 year-old bachelor would do on a Friday night: go to the bar, then hit the strip clubs. Not necessarily in that order. Obviously this wasn't a lifestyle I could follow, so needless to say, my weekends could be pretty boring. Watch a movie. Go to Best Buy and Barnes and Noble. Eat. Then sleep. Pretty depressing, huh?

Well every once in a while, a group of like-minded friends (all guys of course) and I would meet at someone's house for a bonfire. During these "gatherings" (you couldn't call them parties without grossly mislabeling them) we would sit around the fire, eat junk food, and discuss deep, philosophical ideas...such as what to do if zombies attack. Or should I say WHEN zombies attack? Well, one night, we had about a two hour discussion on what defines a sport. This post will hopefully recreate that discussion (in a highly condensed form I hope) to the best of my ability, seeing as the original conversation was over four years ago, and the original transcripts have been lost...because unfortunately we weren't forward thinking enough to create them.

Our first attempt was to say that anything covered or broadcast by ESPN should be a sport. However, in case you've noticed, there are like 6 ESPN channels now, and they show things like bowling, billiards, and archery. We couldn't stomach the thought of those being classified with "real" sports like football, basketball and hockey.

So then we decided to determine the key qualities that are the essence of any true sport and here they are in no particular order:
1. Competition is present
2. Physical exertion
3. Athletic skill required
4. A real potential for injury

The first requirement is that competition must be present. This seemed like a no-brainer to us (it feels weird attributing the term "no-brainer" to our group because later on that same evening we started throwing aerosol cans in the fire to watch them explode, but I digress). Obviously, if there is no possibility of winning, you are just messing around in your backyard with a ball. Competition is the essence of sport.

Physical exertion was a difficult one for us, but we felt it had to be there. We had one member who was convinced that golf required physical exertion. The rest of us disagreed. Certainly there is a high level of mental strain in golf, but physical? Come on. So they have to walk a whole golf course, big deal. Their caddy's carrying their monstrous bags (seriously, why do they need such big bags?) But we all agreed that a real sport should require physical exertion. Baseball was another sticking point, because it really doesn't seem that baseball players are continuously exerting themselves. Oh sure, they may run 90 feet or so, maybe even 180 if they get a good hit to deep right field, but physical exertion...we weren't so sure about that. But we agreed, that while baseball certainly didn't require stellar athleticism in all areas (physical fitness, coordination, natural skill), it still could be physically taxing, unless you're the DH and your only job is to bat three times a game.

Next, we determined that athletic skill must be required to be good at the sport. Notice I didn't say everyone had to be athletes. We were very careful to not make that determination. After all, Babe Ruth was arguably the best baseball player of all time, but no one would mistakenly call him athletic. As determined in the previous paragraph, athleticism is determined by three areas; fitness, coordination and skill. Having athletic ability must be required to be good at the sport in question. For example, bowling does not require athletic ability. My grandfather proves that rule. He stopped bowling when he was about 85 and I believe his average game was around 200. That's would pretty much qualify him to join the PBA. My grandfather was no athlete, maybe when he was younger, but not when he was 85, and buzzed on Pabst. Maybe it was the Kielbasa grease on his bowling hand that made him so good...

Finally, there should be a real potential for injury for an activity to be considered a sport. In basketball, there's twisted ankles, broken fingers, smashed noses, and hitting your head on the rim (maybe that's just me). In baseball, well, let me just say there's a reason they wear cups...at least the smart ones who want to reproduce do. As for football...do I really need to list them? Before you whiners say "Well what about track and field?" Let me just say that running is the most dangerous exercise you can do, so back off. Also, notice I said a REAL potential for injury. I'm not talking getting a pool cue to the eye or yard-dart in the cranium. I'm talking real injury resulting from playing the sport the way it's creators intended.

Now, with these four rules you can classify any potential sport as either a sport, game, or activity. A sport meets 3 out of the 4 requirements. That's why NASCAR meets the requirements (much to my chagrin) because the only thing it doesn't explicity require is athletic ability. Sure, those guys have skills and are physically tough, but I'm pretty sure I could outrun Rusty Wallace. That's also why Golf does not make the cut for being a sport. There's no real potential for injury unless you're stupid, and you don't really have to be an athlete to compete. Come on, Angel Cabrera was smoking a cigarette walking to the 18th hole to win the Master's last year. Yeah, he's an athlete just like Kobe Bryant.

I almost forgot the uber-sport clause. If a sport has a realistic chance of killing you, then it is an uber-sport. Examples of uber-sports are Formula 1 racing, NASCAR (again, against my better judgment), boxing, MMA, football, etc.

So there it is. The next time you are wondering if you are playing a sport (meets 3 out of 4 requirements), a game (meets less than 3 of the requirements) or an activity (meets any of the requirements but there's no competition) you will be able to tell.

I am willing to discuss any arguments anyone may have relating to this methodology, but I believe it's rock solid.

Now who's up for a rousing game of Yahtzee?

It's Just Stuff

What is the point of these 7o-some years we are given on this earth? Is it to be wealthy? To gain power? To help others? To have a good time? Most Christians would dutifully say that the reason we are here is to glorify God. These people would give that answer because they know it's the right answer. However, just saying the right answer doesn't mean you believe it or live it. Unfortunately, most of us (myself included) have our focus on the wrong thing to often, forgetting to glorify God.

Today I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon assisting a friend whose family was affected by the tornadoes over the weekend. When I arrived I was struck by the sheer magnitude of the destruction. The house was leveled. Debris was literally everywhere. I have never seen such a display of pure power before. Cars on their roofs. Appliances literally peeled apart. Bicycles twisted into ridiculous shapes. Trees completely stripped of their bark in a way that could never be reproduced by man.

The main thing that I kept mulling over as I searched the debris was that at some point, every one of those demolished items in that area was purchased by someone. The game Apples to Apples that was purchased as a Christmas present and is now scattered throughout the woods. That bicycle that was part of a New Year's resolution to get fit and now it's a jumbled mass of metal never to be ridden again. The favorite sweater that received so many compliments is now hanging 30 feet up in a tree.

How often do we put our focus on things? Stuff we just HAVE TO HAVE. If I can just get "this" I'll be happy. If I can just make X amount of dollars per year we'll be comfortable. If I can just have a large, flat screen TV I'll be satisfied. The fact is, as long as we're trying to fill our lives with stuff, we'll never be satisfied.

Satisfaction can only come from God. We're designed that way. God knew we'd be tempted to worship the things we can posess, so He made it impossible for those things to ever satisfy us. Only by having a right relationship with Christ can we ever be truly satisfied.

The title of this posting is "It's Just Stuff." That was my mom's favorite phrase when someone would get caught up with purchasing something or obsessing over something lost (usually after she threw it away). The more I think about her words, the more I realize her wisdom. You may have the nicest stuff in the world right now, but someday that iPad is going in the garbage. Someday your Rolex will stop ticking and it will be sold for scrap. Someday your Lexus will live in a junkyard managed by a man named Rusty.

The only thing that is eternal is your soul and the souls of those around you. I know I've ignored the souls of others around me for too long. But not anymore. Don't get me wrong, I like stuff. Stuff is fun. Stuff makes life easier. But when I die, I can't take my stuff with me.

However, I don't plan on going empty-handed. I have a lot of work to do...

It's Really Not That Important

Let me qualify this entire entry by stating the fact that I’ve never been a baseball fan. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to the occasional Mud Hens or Tigers game. I know and understand the rules and intricacies of baseball. I even understand the infield fly rule. You should know that I also understand the significance and rarity of a “perfect game”.

So when I heard about the recent “miscarriage of justice” that occurred the other night when umpire Jim Joyce blew an obvious call which cost Armando Galarraga the first perfect game in Tiger history, I felt bad for all involved. I felt bad for Galarraga because an obviously great accomplishment was stolen from him (no matter what Governor Granholm tries to declare). I also felt bad for Jim Joyce because that dude will never be able to umpire a Tiger game again, ever…unless he’s suicidal.

With that said, I have one thing to say to all of the angry Tiger fans…CALM DOWN. Seriously, this is a sport, a game, a pastime. Something you watch when there’s nothing important do. This incident exposes how backwards our American priorities are. We can watch the news and hear of tens of thousands of people in some far away country dying of genocide, starvation, a natural disaster, or disease and change the channel in apathy. BUT, if some guy doesn’t make the right call in a game (that in eternity will mean nothing), it ruins our whole day. Someone tell me what is wrong with this picture…

As a nation we have gotten so enamored with our wealth, our gadgets, and our comforts, that our priorities are all upside down. We’re willing to stand in line overnight to be the first to own an iPad, but we whine and complain when we go to a church and the pews are too hard (or too soft). We will watch a 3 hour movie about giant blue people who are trying to save their enormous magic tree (really?) but we can’t seem to squeeze in 15 minutes a day to read the words of an all-knowing, all-powerful God.

I don’t mean for this to sound preachy, because honestly I’m in the same boat. The thing is that I’m starting to recognize it, and it’s making me sick. I’m beginning to reevaluate my priorities to put what’s really important at the top of my list and let all the other stuff slide to the end of the line. I’m not sure what this exactly means for me in practice, but I know if I line up my priorities with God’s priorities I won’t be disappointed.

Ignorance is Bliss...I Hope.

Ignorance is bliss. I used to think this was a stupid saying because I guess I didn’t understand exactly what it meant. Then, when I discovered the same idea in Ecclesiastes 1:18 I started giving it some serious thought. It turns out that the idea of blissful ignorance is not only true, sometimes it may even be beneficial to be stupid about some things.

Think about it. Aren’t there things in your life you would love to have never known or experienced? Maybe it’s something you’ve learned about a friend that you can’t quite forget, even though you should. Perhaps you’ve had a disturbing dream that you keep dwelling on even though you wish you could just flush it out of your head. Maybe you saw a picture of Michael Moore on the beach in a Speedo. OK, so some things may require a sharp object to the frontal lobe to lessen the psychological damage.

One thing that I’m starting to nudge into this group is politics. I’ve always been interested in political events. I read Rush Limbaugh’s books in high school and was a staunch conservative throughout college. Often, I was the only voice of reason in my liberal classes at the University of Toledo. Just recently (since about 6 months before the last election) I’ve really increased the amount of attention I’ve given to politics. I’ve read more political books in the past year than I have in all my previous years. If I’m alone in my car, I’m listening to Mark Levin, Glenn Beck, Andrew Wilkow, or just Fox News. I keep the Drudge Report open on my computer all day so that I can keep updated on Obama’s latest excursions into socialism.

And now I’m beginning to wonder why I’m doing it. I find myself worrying about things that are important, but which I can do nothing about. Monetizing the debt. Inflation. Blatant media bias. Culturally encouraged racism. The welfare state. The list goes on and on. I notice my friends and acquaintances who are blissfully ignorant of all of these issues and they seem so happy. I wonder how they can feel that way when our once great country is literally falling apart.

So starting today, I’m beginning a one-week fast. A political fast. No Beck. No Levin. No Fox News. No Drudge. During the time I usually spend listening to the news or reading a political book, I’m going to listen to Christian music, read good books, or just sit and enjoy life.

One week from now, I’ll either be feening for Drudge Report and Glenn Beck, or I’ll be just like your average American, completely ignorant but happy as a Hindu cow.

I’m hoping eventually I can find a happy medium.